You're gone, and I'm Broken
by LolaRhi
Summary: Toby is gone, but I have a growing piece of him inside me.   How will Toby react when he is faced withthe scary idea of growing up and how will Spencer keep her cool.  summary sucks, but it will probably be a good read. Thanks
1. Heartbroken Surprize

The rain seemed to get heavier with my every sob.

I sank down, once again, into the red cushy couch that he had once held me on. My vision is so blury from my tears, I cant tell if its 10pm or 1am. Time was now put in a metamorphical blender, no end or beginning.

"oh, God." I muttered to myself as I rose up and skidded to the bathroom for like the 6th time today. This had been going on for 3 days now. Eating, getting sick, feeling fine, eating, getting sick, feeling fine again. It was a vicious cycle.

When I was done puking my guts out, I got up and looked at what was left of me. I was no longer Spencer Hastings. I was now a dark, lost girl, nameless. I look like a wreck.

Suddenly, I had a revalation.

I remembered back to when Melissa first had goten pregnant. She was always running to the bathroom like me.

My hard tears came back when I realized that I was probably pregnant with the baby of the only boy I ever loved. But now he hates me. He's gone.

I knew what I had to do.

* * *

><p>About a half hour later I was back in the bathroom, with my tests. 3 of them.<p>

I quietly opened the first one, which was pointless because I was home alone. I just felt guilty. I read the complicated directions, then attempted to forecast my fate.

* * *

><p>I came back to the 3 tests 15 minutes later. Before I looked, I began to cry, because half of me wanted to go back in time and tell Toby and I to use protection, then maybe I wouldn't be in this mess. But my other, weaker half wanted to have Tobys baby.<p>

I turned slowly, unsure of my feelings, only to find all 3 tests covered in blinding blue lines.

Im a Mommy.


	2. Team Sparia

"Spence, how are you really doing?" Aria questioned me. We had both suffered a bad breakup recently; she and Ezra were not speaking either.

"Uh," I wanted to tell Aria about me getting knocked- up. But maybe not. "Yes. And no."

"Aww, c'mon Spence. Something's up. I know it." Did Aria know?

"OK. Aria…" I started.

"Hmm?" she asked, trying to get it out.

"Aria… im… pregnant." I burst into tears and Aria grabbed me into a big hug. "With Toby's baby."

After a few moments of silence, I pulled away and Aria said "im glad its Toby's, does anyone know yet?"

"Not that I know of. That's why you're not going to tell anyone, right," I tried.

"It's safe with me," she sighed, "You need to tell toby"

"He's gone, Aria," my words were almost silent. "-A cant… I won't let –A hurt him"

"Spencer…" she started, unable to find her words, "You need to let him. This is his baby too. –A can't change that…. Here, let's call him now" Aria said, motioning towards my phone.

"Wait, wait, wait." I grabbed my HTC out of her eager hands, she had already scrolled through my contacts to the M's. "I need a plan."

"Oh Spencer, and her planning." Aria cooed, rolling her eyes, "Just say that you have something serious to say to him. Then tell him to sit down. Haha."

"Aria, this is serious." Even though, it probably was a good idea to have him sit down.

"I know, I know." She grabbed my phone back and dialed Toby.

"Alright…" I was already shaking. "But you better not go anywhere"

"I'll be here the whole time," she put her hand on my arm. "Remember, were team Sparia!"

"Haha. Of course. Wish me luck."

I looked at the phone, Pressed 'Call', and waited for the familiar voice to pick up.


	3. Coffee and Big News

We agreed to meet over coffee at the little café right in the heart of Rosewood.

I had woken up feeling disgusting and cranky. As soon as I opened one eye, I was running to the bathroom to empty my already empty stomachs contents. It really didn't help that I was nervous about telling him.

I slipped on some dark jeans, which, much to my lament, were already getting too tight.

Since I felt too crappy to do anything with my face and hair, I went au natural and put no make-up on and just brushed my hair into its normal wavy state.

I drove slowly in my highlander, not wanting to reach my destination. We planned on meeting at 10 sharp, but I was already late, just as I planned on being. Even though we weren't technically together, I still had to make the boy wait.

It suddenly started to rain as soon as I geared my car into park, just my luck. Speaking of, I hadn't had much of any luck lately. The rain made me feel even worse, and I considered just turning around and going straight home, faking sick. Hiding under my covers, and never coming out.

I finally willed myself to get out of my car, I looked around, great, he is already here.

I guess I can say that im glad he showed. After what I 'did' to him, im glad he even answered the phone yesterday when Aria forced me to call him and set this up. But Aria was right. He had to know.

Alright, here I go.

He was sitting at the table farthest from the door, thank god. I knew it was him as soon as I saw his mass of brown hair.

If my life was a movie, I would have written this part outside, on a sunny day. In the park. I would see him. He would see me, at the exact same time. We would run to each other. Kiss. Oh, and I wouldn't be pregnant. It would be just as romantic as when Ariel turns into a human and finds Prince Eric. Or something like that.

I shuffled over to my broken prince charming. The café was way too quiet. Every footstep, every breath I took, made a noise much too loud.

"Toby…" I found myself unable to raise my voice above a whisper. "I…"

"Spencer," my beautiful boy said, standing up. He wrapped his strong arms around me, in his arms, I felt invincible. I burrowed my face into his neck. I was hoping, begging that this meant forgiveness. "You don't know how hard it is not to love you…" he trailed off.

"Toby," I repeated, with as much, if less volume as last time. "Toby we need to talk… serious,"

"Wait, first." He paused, unraveling himself from me. He looked my im the eyes. "Can we be in love again? Tell whatever douchebag that wants to be with you to fuck off, Spencer, I can't be without you. Never."

"Yes, Toby, I need you." God, I started crying. My damn hormones. "im sorry. Never again, baby."

"Love," he said, taking me into his embrance once again. We seemed to be atracking some stares from the other customers. "babe, why don't we go out to my truck. We can do what ever you want."

"Ok. But, Toby, we need to talk." I said, following him out into the rain and into his warming pick-up.

"Aright, whats on your mind sugarstick?" Toby always came up with just the pet name to make me feel better.

"Im just gonna say it strait out." I sighed, then my breathing began to pick up, as did my heartrate."Toby," I looked him right in the eyes,

"Im pregnant."


	4. I Want A Mini Spencer

He pulled me close to him; since his truck had a bench seat it made it easier to be close.

"Spence… is it mine?" he sighed, his voice sounded all crackly.

"Of course," I was actually kind of shocked to hear him ask. "Yeah Toby." My voice was harsher than I expected. "Toby you are the only person I ever, you know…"

"Oh," that was all he said to me.

"Toby, please…" I grabbed onto the nearest part of him, which happened to be the sleeve of his shirt. "I…"

I looked up at his face, it seemed to be carved in marble, he was incased by his thoughts.

"I just wanted you to know, I didn't mean to upset you," I was crying once again. "Im sorry… Toby, please." His face was still overtaken. "I will get an abortion… anything, Toby, please, im sorry. Just…" I was now sobbing. I shriveled over into a ball, out of his arms, that were now limp around me.

There was nothing but the sound of the rain hitting the truck for a minute.

"Spencer," he said my name so perfect. "Spence, we can work this out, please." He said this as he pulled me up and into his chest. I was still crying, my whole body was shaking. I couldn't stop.

I was suddenly mad.

"How, Toby, do you think? Because you hate this already, and a baby isn't just going to go away, just like that, dear. No sir, we have no place to live, we have no clue about babies, and we are just kids ourselves." While I said this, he stroked my hair and whispered shushes and cooed into my forehead.

"Spence, we are gonna get through this, trust me. I won't leave."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

*2 Months Later*

Since Melissa moved out, the barn was empty. My parents finally let me move out there.

"Toby!" I called from the loft.

"One sec, babe." He called back, he was working on putting new counter tops in the kitchen. They were black to match the new theme of an all vintage kitchen.

"Okay, whenever you have a sec you should get in the shower, we have to go soon!"

We had a baby doctor appointment today. I was more than excited, so was Toby. Today we found out if it was a boy or a girl. Ive decided that I would be happy either way, considering that either way it would most likely look like Toby. I hoped.

"Ok! Im getting in Spence!" Toby called from the downstairs bathroom.

I laid out my clothes for the day. A flowy, brown bat-winged sweater with leggings. I could no longer fit into jeans comfortably, and I refused to wear pregnant jeans.

I blow-dried my out and put it into a simple, perfect French braid.

After our appointment, Aria, Hannah and Caleb, and Emily were coming over, so I went about cleaning up after me and Toby's messes. Not that there were a lot.

We pulled out of my driveway right on schedule. Toby's hand found mine and grapsed it tightly.

"So, I guess this is the last time the bump will jus be 'Baby'" he said motioning to my pregnant belly.

"Yeah, I guess so," I said giggleing a little. "Toby, tell the truth. Do you want a boy or a girl?"

"Ahh, this question again?" he sighed, laughing back at me. "I really don't care, Spence."

"No, no c'mon!" I said tugging on his arm. "Say you were being held a gunpoint. You had to choose. Please?"

"Alright, I guess the baby needs a father, so, truthfully," he placed our intwinded hands on my belly, "I have to cover its ears, just in case." I laughed at him. "Okay I want a little girl. There, I said it, its out!"

"Wow." I actually was kind of shocked. I thought he would want a boy. "Im surprised, Babe."

"I know, it doesn't sound like me." He squeezed my hand. "I want a mini Spencer." His smile was so big.

"Im not so sure about that." I laughed. "My mom says I was a terrible baby. Made her life a living hell."

"People always say that about there second child. They are always devils." He sighed, sarcasticly. "Luckily, im the first born in my family."

"Oh shut up." I loved when we teased each other like this. "Your are an only child."

"Well being an olny child sucks. No one to play with, just lonliness." This ws a hard topic for Toby, considering the issue with Jenna. "So promise me one thing, my dear."

"Anything for you." I said as he parked the truck.

"Lets not make this our only child."


	5. Judgmental Eyes

As Toby shifted the truck into park, I mentally processed to information he had just given me. He wants a girl. But what if it's a boy, will I let him down?

"Spence, you ready, love?" Toby speaking brought me out of my pondering questions.

"Yeah, babe," I sighed and pushed the thought away "I'm so so so excited for this!"

Toby grabbed my hand and pulled me into the drafty waiting room. It was occupied by a few couples; they all stared at us, like it was such a sin to be 16 and pregnant. I scowled at the ground and mentally told myself to cheer up, because it really does not matter what others think, does it?

"What's your name, sweetheart?" the elderly lady behind the counter asked.

"Spencer Hastings" I told her. I found myself almost saying 'Spencer Cavanaugh' but that wouldn't be right.

"What a unique name for a girl," She said. I get that all the time, from everyone. "It's very pretty."

"Thanks" I mumbled back, squeezing Toby's hand. I knew he was thinking the same thing 'everyone says that'

"You two can have a seat," she said, gesturing to the seating arrangement, "Dr. Lenhart will be with you shortly."

Again, Toby took my hand a dragged me to a seat, the ones farthest from the judgmental eyes.

"Hi Baby," Toby spoke to my belly, "I'm sorry those people make you feel unwanted, youre not, trust me," he rested his free hand on top of my abdomen. "They don't understand that if you love someone," he paused and glanced up at me, " like I love your momma, then its ok to take a big step. Don't you ever, ever let anyone tell you that you were a mistake, you are a gift from the gods, baby. And I love you so very much, so does mommy."

Everything Toby just said, combined with the hot eyes on the back of my head, and hormones, made me just explode into tears. Toby was perfetc, he was meant to be a dad, our baby would be so loved by everyone.

"Peach, come here," Toby said while collecting me into his arms, "Its all ok."

"Ms. Hastings?" a voice interrupted our little moment.

We both got up, one of my hands in Toby's, the other securely wraped around my bump.

"Hi Spencer," Dr. Lenhart nearly sang out. "Hi Toby! Hows that baby doing? Well I guess I should be the one to tell you, huh?"

"Yeah," I chuckeled. "Everything seems ok though."

I layed down on the operation bed, and Toby squeezed my hand even harder, I could tell he was excited.

"Alright then, you know the drill Spencer." The doctor said as I lifted up my sweater. The coldness of the room hit me fast and gave me goosebumps on my arms.

She waved the ultrasound wand over my protruding belly, and suddenly a black and white image appeared on the tiny screen above me. I watched as Toby's face lit up at the site of the tiny being.

"How does it look?" I asked the doctor. She looked almost worried.

"Well, the monitor is picking up something weird," I felt Toby tense up beside me. "Its almost like there are two heartbeats instead of one. Ill be right back."

I looked at Toby, who was extremely shocked.

"T- Toby…" a question bubbled to my lips, "Could we be having twins? Is that even possible?"

"I don't know." He sounded kind of desperate, like he couldn't process something.

"Alright, Ive got something that will help us out," Dr. Lenhart came in carrying a more technical looking stethoscope.

After a few moments of silence, she moved to do another ultrasound, this time on my left side.

"Toby, Spencer, congratulations, you are having twins!" I could not believe it, all this time, there were two babies instead of one.

"Umm, do you know if they are boys or girls…?" Toby said, unsure sounding.

"Oh! Of course!" she studied the two pictures on the screen. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"Yes."we both said in unison.

"Well, this here, on top,"she said, pointing to a white figure, "Is baby A, she's a girl."

Toby smiled so big at me, it looked like he was hurting his face. I smiled right back of course, that's what he wanted, a girl.

"And Baby B is here," she said pointing to the figure on the bottom of the screen "She's a girl aswell."


	6. Your Jealousy is Quite Funny

AN—do you guys have any suggestions, im open for anything. Thank you so much for all the love and support, I would not have continued without you guys!

As soon as we got in the car me and toby were both babbling about how amazing this was. Two babies. At the same time.

"Ok, I've gotta call Aria!" she was out of town this week, for photography opportunities. I promised to call her with news.

I dialed her number, and waited for her answer.

_Hey Chica!_

Hi Aria! You are not going to believe this!

_Oh my gosh, what is it? Girl or boy? How is it?_

Well, they are ok

_Wait, when you say they…_

Twins!

_Ahhhh! That's like double! Please tell me at least one of them is a girl!_

I know, right! One of them is a girl or two…

_Oh my! Two girls! You and Toby are gonna have your hands full!_

I know, I know. I miss you; I can't wait till you get to see the pictures!

_I know, I'll be home Thursday, so I'll come strait there._

Thank you so much, you are the first to know

_Aww Spence, you are so sweet. But I gotta go, I'll call you tomorrow._

Ok bye

_Bye_

"She's so excited," I said as I put down the phone.

"I bet," Toby's face was still pulled upward so much that it looked like he had just gotten Botox or something.

We pulled into the drive of our loft, but for some reason Melissa stood in the driveway.

"Oh god, look what the wind blew in, all the way from Philly." Why was she here?

"I didn't know she was coming here, Spence." Toby sounded annoyed with the fact that my crazy sister was standing in the driveway of our house, looking all happy, like we were all great friends. I was too.

"Me neither, but look, I don't want here as much as you, so if we act nice, she'll go away. But, don't tell her its twins, she'll run and tell the whole town. I want to be the one to tell my parents"

"Ok, so just tell her it's just ONE baby girl, not two?"

"Yeah," I sighed and undid my seat buckle "It should work, I hope."

We stepped out of the truck and Melissa ran right up to me and hugged me.

"Spence! I missed you so much! So did Keith! He misses his Auntie Spencer." Melissa said, extremely overbearing as always.

"Yeah, I missed him too," I glanced at Toby, who seemed extremely interested in cleaning out the center console in his car. "Mom didn't tell me you were coming into town."

"Well, I just decided to surprise everyone, I brought Keithie too." She said, motioning towards the big house that I used to call my own.

"I figured," where else would she stick him, she has no other person to watch him. "Well, I and toby have some groceries to take in, and later some friends are coming over, so we really have to get inside."

"Wait, mom told me that you guys had an appointment today…?" she looked over at Toby.

"Umm, yeah. Toby?" I wanted him over here to tell her, it would make the lie look better.

"Coming, Spence." He walked over like it wasn't awkward that he had totally missed the conversation "Hi Melissa,"

"Hello, Toby." Gosh that was intense.

"So about the doctors…" I said, trying to make this as comfortable as possible

"Right, what did he say?" Melissa inquired.

"Well, it's a girl." I was half afraid to tell her, I knew she would be jealous.

"Oh, wow." She bent down to look at my swollen stomach, "Hi girlie, im your auntie Melissa!" she said it all in an overly preppy voice, that was her bitch voice.

"Well, I'll leave you two, or 'three' be then" and with that she sauntered off to the house to go and whine to mommy and daddy about how my life is so good. And how she needs things like clothes and money.

After I put the groceries away, I jumped on top of Toby, who was lying on our bed, just staring at the ceiling.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked him.

"Well, you, the babies, our future." He sighed and rolled over on his side to look at me. "How are we going to do this? Twins means two babies, twice the time, twice the money, twice the everything."

"Twice the love," I said, grabbing his hands

"Right, Twice the cuteness." He laughed.

"Did you see Melissa's face when I told her it was a girl?" I giggled "I was classic, she's so mad at us!"

"Yes, I had to cover my mouth to stop myself from laughing!" he rolled back onto his back and scratched his ribs, "I can't wait till we tell her its twin girls!"

"I know right, she'll die of anger and jealousy" I giggled even harder.

"Hey, Keith is still pretty cute, ya know for a boy."

"Yeah, but our babies will be cuter, by a landslide." I rubbed my stomach "Are my baby girls hungry?"

"I think daddy is very hungry," and "he can make you three something for lunch. How does that sound?"

"I think that everyone is in favor of that," I loved Toby's cooking "I love you daddy."

"I love you too, Mommy"


End file.
